What Love Is
by Kuroneko-sama07
Summary: Here's a plot that's been used quite frequently in HidekiChi fics, but I'm doing it a little different. Hideki can't go all the way with Chi. So what's he gonna do about it? I don't know; let's read and find out. R&R please!


What Love Is  
  
By Kuroneko-sama07  
  
Rated PG-13  
  
Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN CHOBITS!! STOP HOUNDING ME!! Yes, I have issues, and yes, I'm getting really tired of writing this for every freakin' disclaimer! XD  
  
A/N: OK, here I am with my first Chobits fanfic! ^_^ Well, I've only read the manga, but I have read it all, so there won't be any conversations or stuff that has already happened in the series...like some fics 'round here...But I'm not gonna point any elbows! ^_^;; Lol, I have problems...  
  
Anyway, ff.net is in dire--I repeat, DIRE--need of some good Hideki/Chi fanfics! We've got to do something, people! Well, at least I'm doing something.^^ Anywho...I believe this subject matter in this fic has been a focale point for several other fics on this site, but they didn't actually portray it the way I would have prefered. Now, don't get me wrong, they were great fics! But I just have something a little different in mind. ^_^ And for the 3 of you out there who haven't caught on to the subject matter I'm talking about yet, I'll tell you: Hideki can't have sex with Chi. So what is he gonna do about it?? I don't know; let's read and find out. ^_~  
  
Warnings: A little warning for this one. It's rated PG-13 for some pretty mature situations and a bit of language. There's also, of course, some sexual references. K, enjoy! (also, I forgot to mention earlier--this fic is from Hideki's POV ^_^)  
  
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I sat down and began to eat my dinner. I was eating ramen noodles because I hadn't been to the grocery store in a while and that was all I had. As I silently ate, I watched Chi. She was sitting in front of the television watching the Weather Channel. I have no idea why she was watching that or what attracted her to it, but she seemed almost absorbed into it.  
  
After several minutes, I realized I was hardly paying attention to my food and almost spilled it on my lap. Thank God I didn't because the noodles were really hot! I realized that I had become absorbed into watching Chi, just like she was with the Weather Channel. But she looked really beautiful just sitting there...it was hard to take my eyes off of her.  
  
Soon, I finished eating and my cleaning of the dishes must have snapped Chi out of her trance.  
  
"Hideki?"  
  
"Hmm?" I didn't turn to look at her because I was loading the dishwasher.  
  
"The lady says it's going to rain tomorrow. Do you think it will?" she asked.  
  
"Well, it might. We'll have to see," I said as I turned to look at her. "Either way, it doesn't really matter. I don't have any classes tomorrow, and you don't have work tomorrow, remember?"  
  
"That's right! Manager Ueda said Chi gets a break!" she said happily. "But what if it does rain tomorrow? What will we do?"  
  
I shrugged and wondered why she was so concerned about it raining. "I don't know. I guess we'll just stay in and hang out."  
  
"Oh." She seemed satisfied with my answer, so I left it at that.  
  
That night, I couldn't sleep at all. I have no idea what my problem was, but it just seemed like there were so many things on my mind. One thing, of course, was Chi. I found myself gazing at the sleeping figure next to me several times. What can I say? She's beautiful...she's perfect. But then...that's what persocoms are made for. That thought brought up another thought that I had been trying to push aside for a while.  
  
Chi loses everything every time she's restarted. Her name...her memories...her dreams...her heart. Chi can never become one with you.  
  
Freya's words echoed in my mind. I wasn't going to deny it; I wanted Chi to become one with me more than anything, but obviously, that couldn't happen. I did want Chi...all of her, just like I told Freya. But I can't have all of her. I've come to accept that and love Chi anyway, but I still can't help but to want to have her all. There's times when Chi seems so innocent, almost like a child, but then she still seems so sexy, more like a woman.  
  
I sat up and looked down. I noticed a bulge in my pants and cursed myself because of it.  
  
"Shit...," I whispered to myself. "I can't believe I'm thinking about this. I've gotta control myself."  
  
While still sitting up, I tried to calm myself down, but the images of Chi and I making love that kept swarming around in my mind were not helping. As I rubbed my eyes, I noticed that Chi was beginning to stir. She opened her eyes, and when she saw that I was sitting up, she sat up as well.  
  
"Hideki? What's wrong?" she asked.  
  
I looked at her. Even though I could barely see, she looked worried; I think she must have noticed that I was upset. I sighed. "Uh...it's nothing really," I replied. I tried to force a smile on my face, but it didn't exactly work out.  
  
She moved closer to me and placed her hand on my knee. I put my hand on hers and gave it a small squeeze before letting go and turning to where I was fully facing her. "I was just thinking."  
  
"About what?" she asked.  
  
"Uh...about us," I said, a little unsure of where this conversation was going.  
  
"What about us?" she asked.  
  
"Chi...I really do love you," I said quietly.  
  
Even in the dark, I could see her bright smile. "Chi knows. Chi loves Hideki, too. So what's wrong?"  
  
I sighed deeply and whispered, "I...we...can't go all the way together."  
  
Chi just sat there and listened.  
  
"If we do...," I continued, "you'll be restarted."  
  
Her bright smile faded away. "Chi does not want to be restarted."  
  
I gently placed my hands on her shoulders. "I know...I know you don't. I don't want you to be restarted either, so don't worry, I'm not going to do anything."  
  
I looked into Chi's eyes. She wore a look of understanding and compassion, but I still think there was confusion inside of her. I don't even think she knew what "all the way" meant.  
  
"Does Hideki want to do something with Chi?" she asked, sounding as innocent as ever.  
  
"Yeah...yeah, I do, but we can't, so I'm not." The next thing I knew Chi had her arms wrapped around me and I did the same. I held her tight and I didn't want to let go.  
  
"Chi is sorry," she whispered.  
  
I stroked her long, silky hair. "No, Chi...it's not your fault. I just really love you, and I really need you, but...I also really want you."  
  
Chi was silent. We stayed like that in each other's arms for I don't even know how long. But finally, I pulled away.  
  
I tried my best to smile and it worked out alot better than before. "Come on, Chi, let's go to sleep."  
  
She agreed and we both layed down. I was glad when she layed her head down on my chest. That made me feel more comforted, and to my surprise, I went right to sleep.  
  
The next morning when I woke up, I noticed that Chi was still asleep. She had moved during the night, so her head wasn't on my chest anymore. I heard the sound of soft beating against the glass window, so I got up and looked outside. Just like the weather lady had said, it was raining. I went and laid back down beside Chi. She looked so peaceful just sleeping there. I gently moved some strands of hair out of her face, and I laid a single kiss on her neck. Soon after, I felt her stir. I looked up and her eyes met mine. Then, a smile spread across my face.  
  
"It's raining," I said as I propped my head up with my elbow.  
  
She smiled as well. "Just like the lady said."  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Do you want to get up?" she asked.  
  
"No, let's stay right here for a little while."  
  
"OK," she simply said as she laid her hand down on the pillow.  
  
I placed my hand on hers and gave it a small squeeze before entwining my fingers with hers. Then, in one sudden movement, I pressed my lips against hers. When I pulled away, I could tell I had caught her by surprise, but then she just smiled. Knowing that it was okay to continue, I kissed her again. After all of this time of being with her, it still amazes me that she feels so real. Her lips were so warm and soft.  
  
I gently placed my hands on her neck and began planting small kisses along her jawline. She ran her fingers through my hair as my lips then moved down her neck. I stopped at her collar bone and looked up at her and smiled. I slid my hands down her shoulders to her chest but stopped before reaching her breasts. It was strange, but I felt like she wouldn't approve of me touching her there. But then she did something that really shocked me.  
  
She took my hands and firmly placed them on her breasts. "Hideki can touch Chi here. Hideki is the only one that can touch Chi."  
  
Hearing her say that made me almost want to burst. I loved it when she said things like that because it made me feel like she was all mine and no one else's. And then, accepting her offer, I slipped my hands underneath her shirt. Our lips met again as I began massaging her breasts. They were so warm, just like I discovered when I first found her. I then slipped one of my hands around to the back of her waist and sat up on my knees. She sat up as well and arched her back. Then, she pulled her shirt off and threw it aside. I was surprised at her move but wasted no time as I moved my mouth to her right breast. She tilted her head back and I could have sworn I felt her shiver as my tongue traced patterns along her skin.  
  
While my tongue and lips were caressing her breasts, my free hand moved down to her panties. I subconsciously began to tug at them, but as soon as I realized what I was doing, I stopped everything.  
  
Panting, I looked up at Chi. Her eyes were full of worry. "Hideki stopped," she said, almost questioningly. Then, as if answering her own question, she said, "Because Chi would have been restarted."  
  
"Yeah," I said.  
  
"Is Hideki sad?" she asked.  
  
I paused for a minute, and I realized something. "No," I said with a smile. "No, I'm not." What I had realized was something I should have realized a long time ago. What Chi and I had just experienced together was nice, but I realized that doing something like that wasn't what made our relationship the way it was. I realized that just strolling through the park with her and just being with her was much more nicer.  
  
My revelation attracted more thoughts and ideas. I would never have agreed if someone had told me before, but now I know for sure. Sex isn't what makes a relationship great. It shouldn't be the basis of a relationship either. Yes, right now, I can't have sex with Chi, but I'm not going to say "never" because you never know what could happen in the future. If there ever comes a time when Chi and I can make love, I'll definitely look forward to it. But I also look forward to alot of other things. I look forward to, hopefully, spending the rest of my life with Chi because the way I see it,...that's what love really is.  
  
The End.  
  
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^_^ So what do you think?? I think it was sweet. ^_~ Yes, it was a bit short, but I did mean for this to be a one-shot. Maybe I should have mentioned that earlier...^_^;; Lol, anyway, please review! I really hope you liked it because I enjoyed writing it, but please tell me what ya think! Well, until next time...ja ne! 


End file.
